I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
