I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
