I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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