She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
