Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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