I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
