hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
