You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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