it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
