I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
