butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
