I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
