So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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