he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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