She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize