She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize
