Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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