all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i need some magic done to my vagina
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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