lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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