I forgot how hot balto sounded
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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