It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
