Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
