yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
