Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
