i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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