Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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