Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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