I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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