let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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