If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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