I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
