Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
