i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
