.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
