Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
