he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
