drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
