Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
