I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize