He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
