hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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