chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
