were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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