If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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