I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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