You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
