So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Boobs speak an international language.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
