dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
