i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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