Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize