Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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