Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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