Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
