I can tuck mytits in my pants
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
where does the pee come out of this thing
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
