Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
