Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It's just like the Real World with babies
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
