If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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