He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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