I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
