My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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