he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
