They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
