guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize