You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
