can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
