Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
