I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize