I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The power of my boobs compel you
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize