how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
