so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
