I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
