I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
