Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize